If you have already spoken to a solicitor about your separation, you may not have heard much about mediation, or it may have been mentioned only briefly. Solicitors vary enormously in how actively they encourage clients to consider it. But mediation is increasingly recognised as the better first step for many separating couples.
You are in charge of your own process
It can feel as though once you have instructed a solicitor, the process takes on a momentum of its own. But you are always in control of the decisions about how to proceed. Asking to explore mediation before committing to the solicitor route is entirely reasonable, and most good solicitors will support it.
In fact, in most cases you are now required to attend a MIAM (a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before making an application to court anyway. So exploring mediation is not a detour, it’s part of the process.
What might you say to your solicitor?
If you’re not sure how to raise it, something like this works well:
” I’d like to explore whether mediation could work for us. I understand it’s often faster and cheaper, and I’d like to at least have an initial meeting with a mediator to find out whether it’s suitable for our situation”.
And mediation does not mean you lose your solicitor, many people use a solicitor alongside the mediation process for legal advice, and your solicitor will be involved in any final agreement.
What are the advantages of trying mediation first?
- It is significantly cheaper than court proceedings, often a fraction of the cost
- It is faster, you can often get started within weeks
- You stay in control of the outcome rather than leaving decisions to a judge
- It is less adversarial, which matters if you are co-parenting
- If mediation does not work, you can still instruct solicitors and go to court, nothing is lost.
What if my solicitor is not supportive?
There are situations where mediation is not appropriate, for example, where there are safety concerns or a significant imbalance of power. A good mediator will identify these at the MIAM stage and will tell you honestly if mediation is not the right route.
Most solicitors are supportive of mediation. If your solicitor actively discourages you from exploring mediation without good reason, it is worth reflecting on whether their advice is genuinely in your interests.
The starting point?
The MIAM, the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, is a one-to-one meeting with your mediator. It is not a commitment to proceed with mediation. It is simply a conversation about your situation and your options.
Many people come to a MIAM feeling uncertain and leave feeling significantly clearer about the right path forward, whether that’s mediation, a solicitor-led process, or a combination of both.
Ready to find out more? Call us on 0113 213 3662 or email info@vollansmediation.co.uk