Making complexity a friend, not a foe
Prior to engaging in Mediation or Coaching you will usually be invited to an individual assessment meting. This is an opportunity for you to find out more about us but also, a chance for the us to find out about your situation by listening to your story. Storytelling is useful in Mediation and Coaching processes. By telling your story you can describe what the conflict is about and what your interests and concerns are. Telling your story can also provide an opportunity to identify feelings, wishes and fears.
Often when I see people for an assessment meeting they will ask ‘where do you want me to start?’, ‘do you want the long story or the short version?’. In conflicts, especially when there has been a history of conflict behaviour that has not been constructively addressed, people feel overwhelmed. It’s not unusual for people not to know where to start in telling their story, the situation can seem just too complicated.
John Paul Lederach has written several books on Conflict Transformation. His academic work draws on his experience in the field as a mediator, negotiator, and trainer. In his book, The Little Book of Conflict Transformation, he encourages ‘making complexity a friend, not a foe’.
This flies in the face of advice which is usually given to ‘keep it simple’. There is an assumption that most of life works best if kept simple rather than made complicated. But conflict isn’t simple. At times of conflict, complexity describes a situation in which people live with with lots of things happening, at different levels, between different people, all at the same time. Lederach suggests that this can lead to feeling insecure about what it all means, unsure where it is going and as if we have little or no control over what is happening.
In order to constructively deal with complexity of conflict and the feelings that accompany it, we must make it a friend rather than a foe and recognise its potential for positive change.
Mediation and Coaching are both processes that involve working with a trained Conflict Specialist who will help you to identify and explore the issues arising in the conflict. After that, you will be able to explore and develop options and avenues for change.
If you would like to find out more about the services we offer that will help you to change the way you think about conflict and grow in effectiveness in handling conflict creatively and positively, please contact me for an initial telephone consultation on 0113 213 3662 or 077930102740 or email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
